Before I attended Pathways you would have found me up against a wall, trying to blend in with the wallpaper so as not to be seen. I was embarrassed, ashamed, lonely, and I was dying inside – perhaps already dead. I was in a loveless marriage for 26 years, had just moved to a new state where I had no friends or family around, and my daughter was in rehab. I felt utterly alone and there was so much chaos in my life.
My life intersected with Pathways in 2008. I fought hard in those rooms. I was so shut down that I couldn’t even imagine what I wanted – I just knew I wanted something other than what I had. So I kept doing what was asked of me, one step at a time. With time and a lot of love and grace (and patience!) from others, I finally found the courage to dream… to try… fail… try … fail … and try again. The training gave me the strength to remove the distractions of toxic relationships, allowed me to have confidence in my choices and taught me how to set healthy boundaries. My heart is so much lighter now. I feel free and giddy most of the time, and the best part is that it is genuine joy. I have discovered self-love, self-value and self-worth!
I am free to be the person I was created to be!
Today, I am living a life I never knew existed. I am engaged to a man that loves and cherishes me daily. (I’m the girl in those Hollywood romance movies! ME!) I have embraced my adventurous side and traveled to destinations that were only dreams before. I am blessed with terrific friends that love me enough to challenge me, to laugh with me, to cry with me, and to hug me when I need it the most.
In the ten years since I attended Pathways, one thing I know for sure is that I deserve the best that life has to offer. However, it requires me to run after what I want and need, instead of waiting for life to just happen around me and take me under with the current. Taking ownership means that I still must choose to lean into, and learn my way through, whatever I’m facing, even when it is hard or uncomfortable. It’s about constantly using what I’ve uncovered about myself to grow and develop, and doing my best to never miss an opportunity to learn more. I have attended three Step Beyond trainings, each time peeling another layer so that I could find out what the unique spiritual walk I’m designed to have looks like. I have refreshed P3 six times since graduating, each time seeking a clear picture of what my “next” looks like.
I feel like the most important aspect of maintaining ownership in my life is having a strong core nucleus that holds me accountable daily. Volunteering for Pathways on a monthly basis has allowed me to build that core nucleus. It doesn’t hurt that I have the opportunity to play the games – over and over – every time that I get the opportunity to TA. That practice allows me to continually grow by examining what is and is not working in my life, so I can assess and readjust. I get to live my passion every time I walk in those rooms. It’s truly inspiring to watch another person realize that they hold power to design their destiny. It’s a distinctly fulfilling experience to witness the moment that someone recognizes that they are no longer a victim and that they get to live the life they choose from here on out.
When I’m on a course seeking to elevate my life, I always go back to those four questions that resonate throughout the training: What do you want? What stands in your way? What do you want to do about it? How would you feel?
I feel like the key to elevating your life resides in that third question… what do you want to do about it? Identifying what you want is a great starting point, but without taking action all you have is a pipe dream. You have to get into the grit of that question and break it down: What are you willing to do? What’s at stake for you? How much are you willing to sacrifice to get what you want?
What would it take to make you a priority? Without examining how much energy you’re willing to put into changing, you’ll never quite reach the pinnacle of elevation that you are desiring. That’s why my favorite quote right now is, “Goals are dreams with deadlines.”
I AM a Feeling Compassionate and Independent Woman, LOVED, and Wrapped in Gods Arms.